CHARACTERS
Life’s Not an Elvis Movie
Cast of Characters
STARRING
DaVido: The protagonist, A 29-year-old singer/songwriter. Strikingly handsome, well-built, stands out in the crowd, he has sacrificed everything including love and money for his elusive dream that one day he would be signed to a record contract and the world will hear his music. But he also realizes that his time clock is ticking and it's now or never.
Lauralie Lushburg: The ingénue. A 20 something year old salaciously innocent dark-haired, blue-eyed beauty, moved to Joplinville to take care of her grandmother. She works as a ticket taker at the Joplinville Theatre and has caught the eye of a few suitors.
Carmine the Cat Cataldo: The antagonist. A flashy early 40-something year-old mobster, with slicked back hair, dark eyes and smokes Cuban cigars and wears gaudy jewelry. He controls the entire Joplinville strip and owns the renowned Joplinville Theatre, Joplinville Records, Joplinville Recording Studios and Joplinville Laundromat.
CO-STARRING
Jumbo Shrimpell: The proprietor and host of The Dive Bar, a leftover beatnik from the 50s, happy-go-lucky guy. Think Maynard G. Krebs/Gilligan, tennis sneakers, clam diggers, a large personality in a small frame.
Big Moby: A big man with a big heart. He is the leader of the Dive Bar house band, Big Moby and the Little Dicks.
Heather Joeyton: A late 20’s, beautiful buxom blonde wannabe starlet! She would do anything to see her name up in lights. Think Jane Mansfield and Ginger/Gilligan’s Island. She latched onto Carmine Cataldo hoping he would make her a star.
Rosario: 25 to 35 years old, all ethnicities female. LGBTQ, butch, a little rough around the
edges, friend and confidant of Lauralie but is a bit possessive of her friendship. She has an attraction to Lauralie like everyone does and gives her advice with selfish motives so as not to lose time with her.
Aunt Millie: A 50-something year old from Naples, Italy. She owns Aunt Millie’s Wig shop. A robust woman with a heavy Italian accent; she is DaVido's Aunt from his father's side but more like DaVido’s second mom.
Reverend Hollious Hollister: Reverend and worship leader at the Retropolitan House of Worship. Think James Brown/Little Richard, wears a purple three-piece suit, lots of gold, Afro gel straight hair.
Wally Gold: A 50-something, grey-haired, Jewish record executive, who owned the now defunct Iron Bound Records out of Newark, NJ. He now works for Carmine the Cat Cataldo as vice president/A&R executive of Joplinville Records.
The Cronies: Carmine’s gang, consisting of Marbles, No Neck and Pete the Meat Ballsingo
Marbles: Late 40s, husky man, think Paulie from Rocky, lifelong friend of
Carmine Cataldo. When an opposing family put a hit on Carmine, Marbles ratted out the hit man. Carmine’s been indebted to him ever since.
Kessel Edwards: Producer/engineer for Retropolitan Records, tall, thin English gentleman, with an English accent, wears a white lab coat and horn-rimmed glasses. He got his start as an assistant to the assistant engineer at Abbey Road Studios in England.
DJ Reynolds: Host of the popular Retropolitan rock radio show.
INTRODUCING
Musical Acts:
The Rage: 17-year-old teen idol. Long dark wavy hair, blue eyes! Has stardom written all over him. Think Jim Morrison, David Cassidy.
Big Moby and the Little Dicks: The Dive Bar house band. Big Moby, lead singer and guitarist. The Little Dicks: Rick, drums; Mick, bass; Vic, keys; are small guys, 5’6 or under.
Frankie and the Fair-Moans: A converted doo-wop band from the early 60s turned pop. Frankie is 41 years old, who says he’s 31, barrel chest, dark hair, mod dresser.
The Estrogens: Signed to Retropolitan Records, The Estrogens are now DaVido’s backup band.